May 20, 2010
Posted in Parenting

Teen Parenting – What Not to Do – Part I

Things are not the same as they once were. Your teen child no more rushes to you during times of distress or hurt. Curfews are constantly being flouted by your son and the classic ‘naughty corner’ punishment strategy is rendered useless or lame at this age. As your child becomes an adolescent, one needs to tailor one’s tried-&-tested parenting skill sets to an ever-evolving world.

As irresistible as it may appear, avoid tossing out all one knows regarding the child or oneself as parents. Your teen might appear alike a stranger in his/her own home, however through those shut entrance ways and moodiness is still your beloved kid. Parents would imminently encounter several unanticipated scenarios where limitations would be challenged and patience vanishing umpteen times. Here are the most common follies in teen parenting that should be avoided at all costs.

Teen Parenting Folly No: 1- Anticipating the pits

Often teens are raised as some sort of trial or tribulation with the belief that as parents they could merely be hapless spectators as their adorable bundle of joy evolves into an erratic monster. Anticipating the worst possible case scenario has been observed to set parents as well as their teen child up for many discontented, unsettled years of co-existence.

The feelers that parents are giving to their teen is that he/she is good only if that teen does not do terrible things like substance abuse, mingles with the wrong people or has sex. When teens are raised with downbeat expectations it could in fact be promoting the behaviourism that parents are most fearful about. Results of a lately conducted research found that parents of teenagers who anticipated them to get tangled in erratic behaviours cited the maximum levels of such behaviours a year anon.

A parent needs to start laying focus on the hobby or interest that the kid has, even when the parent fails in understanding them. Adopting this approach would help unravel a novel pathway of communication and aid in reconnecting with the kid you adore and in the process be able to discover a new-fangled aspect.

Teen Parenting Folly No: 2- Excessively Reading Parental advice books

Instead of relying on their gut instincts, several parents seek guidance from outside quarters on ways of raising their child. Parents could often get totally muddled when following the suggestions mentioned in these books. Books could turn out to be an issue when a parent starts using them for replacing his/her natural parenting style or skill set. In case the advice mentioned in those books and his/her individual parenting style fail in fitting then parents end up being even more uneasy and lose confidence with their own kids.

Books and enlightening posts such as these are to be used to obtain a perspective on baffling behaviourism. More time is to be ideally spent speaking with your mate and kids to get a more lucid picture regarding what holds utmost priority to you and your kin.

Teen Parenting Folly No: 3- Sweating about diminutive matters

Perhaps you loathe your son’s hairstyle or your daughter’s selection of clothes or maybe she failed to procure the role in a stage show that you knew she truly deserved. Prior to intervening, try looking at the bigger picture. In case a particular manner of self expression or a cluster of events are not posing any harm to the child then giving him/her the freedom to make age-apposite choices and living with the consequences. Several parents would like to shield their children from any form of disappointments, hurt or failures. However, guarding the child from the realism of life would rob the child of several opportunities to take chances and learning from his/her blunders when the child is still residing with you. The best approach would be stepping back and letting the kid know that you would always be present for him/her whenever necessary.

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